Of Collars and Triads

It has been a few weeks now since my return for visiting Sir and Miss. Looking back on the days leading up to it there was a lot that I wasn't expecting or even really thinking about. I was just excited to finally going to see them. I had been talking to Sir, and to Miss as well though at that point not as much. Of course that has since changed. *chuckles* No getting ahead of the story. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. My desire to please of course fueling this, will I be everything I come off over skype, will I be what is wanted in person as much as I had been over text and skype? You know the regular worries and wonders that go through your mind. And then I was in the truck driving to the airport and I was excited, through all of it I had no bad feelings about anything. My intuition has always been something I listen to. I is usually spot on, I say usually because there are times I'll admit that I don't stop to listen to it. Always listen to you intuition.

Once at the airport the nerves were back, though this time because of my disliking/fear of planes. I don't really like flying but it's not so bad that I won't do it. Of course some of those Nerves were due to my usual when it comes to finally seeing people face to face. But that of course is the Social Anxiety, yes even if I get comfortable with someone through other means I'm still going to be nervous meeting them in person. It's how I have always been. Landing was rough, I'm going to chalk that up to the pilot because return trip we had turbulence but that landing was smooth. So I was a bit frayed from the flight, luckily it wasn't a crowded flight so I didn't have that on top of it. I had some time to compose myself since traffic was bad, so I got to sit a bit after getting my luggage and work out those nerves so that I wasn't a bundle of broken nerves when I met them.

Needless to say that meant that I wasn't paying much attention when they arrived. But it was a good greeting even, if I was all nervy and shy like. Honestly, minus the whole social anxiety thing I felt very comfortable with them. There was none of the 'not right' feelings at all. I had a very busy first day lol. We stopped at the mall after they picked me up, and luckily it wasn't very busy so that helped with my crowd issue. Then we went to get Sushi and I got to meet a friend of theirs, and Sir's mentor in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). I had a really good time, even if that was a lot for one day and not even half of what we did. But I know that I was glad to finally be there.

As with many things there are always unexpected things that crop up that you weren't expecting at all. A lot of times those things a good unexpected things, in this case it was most certainly a good thing. Miss and I clicked really well and it went from me being just Sir's second sub, to being both of theirs. It is something that I am really happy for the outcome of. I wouldn't have minded it either way, but I won't lie I prefer it this way. So of course once I got back home I made sure to be in contact with Miss more. Even if there are times I feel like I'm being annoying or bugging, shoot I feel that way with Sir too. But I always remind myself that it is not how they feel, it is just my anxiety making me feel that way. I often find that I have to tell myself things like that often. Sometimes the thing that makes me most awkward is the anxiety, wondering why I can be as normal as other people. It's certainly a work in progress.

On my last day there I got my collar, another thing that I was not expecting. I've waited a long time for it and thought that it would be a while before I would be getting it, even if things went so well I ended up staying another week. What made it even more special is that I got to make it, Miss taught me how to do the braiding. She set it up and then I got to do the braiding and she put the clasps onto it. When Sir put it on me, I don't even think there are words that compare to that feeling. I wish I could explain it well. It's like everything clicks into place it becomes so much more than it was moments ago. A feeling of completeness, oneness. I had hoped that I would be able to describe this better, always thought I would be able to, well of course I did I didn't really know what it was like.

Being home has been hard, while I know it won't be for long it is still hard being away from both of them. Not just them either, I do miss their daughter too. I had a lot of fun there and in a way came back different than I had been before, happier and in a way, more complete than I had been. Sleeping has been a bit tricky but I just remind myself that I won't have to endure it long. I cuddle my stuffies that I got while I was there and it helps. Every day I remember that soon I will be there, that being this far sucks but it will only suck for so long.

Luna XO

New Experiences and That W Word

Last night was one of my calls with Sir, this one was different though, but certainly not in a bad way. Different in that good way that gives you butterflies and makes you nervous in an excited way. His other sub (his wife) was sitting in, she'll be referenced in this as Miss as she is a switch and that was the aspect she was sitting in as. It was something that I have always wanted to try, that thing that being a poly sub you think about but never really tell anyone because sadly a majority of your friends are not only vanilla, but monog (I can hear the little violins playing, thank you all ;p). I have done scenes with a Domme, but they weren't on calls, and more in a chat like setting. So my experience with it is limited.

But I have to say, it was something that I enjoyed. I had a bit of a nervous rocky start, but I'm usually nervous when I start something new like this. I've always been that way, slightly awkward when it comes to certain things especially if they are social, yay social anxiety. I believe that Social Anxiety Subs Anonymous needs to become a thing, my friend who coined that knows who she is if she is reading this. It doesn't necessarily mean that I am not enjoying something, or that I don't like something, it's just me and once I acclimate to the situation I'm good. One thing I have always liked, is that Sir is good about asking me how I'm doing. A Dom that cares about their sub's well being is a treasure, and sadly, not really something I was used to before him. But I have found you get used to it very quickly, and come to cherish it.

Most of my calls with him are pretty intense, and I won't lie, I am glad the intense stuff happens with him on the other side of a computer screen. I think it would be harder if it were just me alone. He had me start with the belt, which is pretty usual, and I think I'm getting a little better using it on my breasts. It's an awkward position, beating yourself, and really, never been something I have been into. I have always had a hard time with enjoying it, could never get into it. I think I have figured that out, with those times, it was over the phone, or recording it for that particular Dom (who didn't last very long by any means as he was in New York, and I in Louisiana). I get into it more with this because I can see his reaction, I can hear him saying what he would no doubt be saying if I were kneeling before him.

I can close my eyes and see Sir doing it, though I have no doubt his lashes would be harder. But then him being a sadist calls to my masochist and is probably one of the big things that makes me excited for when I can be face to face. I enjoy what he has me do to myself and that is something I have never thought I would say. I ended the other because I couldn't do long distance in a D/s relationship and years later I laugh that I am in one now. I think the big difference is that I have talked to him over skype, only talked to the other over text, and leaving messages for him that he wanted me to leave. It helps you to trust when you can see the face, and hear the voice, at least for me. It also helps that I knew both Sir and Miss before he asked me to be his sub.

Whatever it is that makes me trust, I enjoy what he has me do to myself. Whether it is the belt, my brush, clothes pins, or even, the paddle. I am still waiting for the 'Let's see if you can hit yourself hard enough to mark yourself'. I am sure it will be coming soon. He had me show it to Miss, and I made the comment along the lines of 'the word I don't like' and Sir came back with something along the lines of 'You like it when I use it'. Of course the answer was yes, and of course when he added the bit about it making my cunt constrict, the answer again is yes. All the while there is a voice in my head yelling at me, asking me how I can enjoy being called such a thing. Telling me to get a backbone don't take that. I figure that is the voice of my disliking of that word. Against any disliking of it, it does get me wet when he uses it, it does make me feel giddy in that way a sub does when their Dom speaks to them like that.

Using that paddled on my cunt was probably the sexiest thing I have ever endured. What made it all the more was listening to Sir and Miss and their comments while I was doing it. It wasn't just Sir praising which made it more in some way. Of course I have always had the share fantasies of being shown off or shared around. It was always something I was iffy on, of course it takes something like this to realize it's not iffy. I really do get off on that. Miss let me cum, but I had to cum from the paddle, which, there is a part of me that is surprised that it worked. I'd never done that before, and yes I am a Painslut but I had that nervousness and that thought of well darn, that's not gonna happen. Boy was I wrong, never second guess yourself boys and girls, or do, it can be kind of fun when you do what you think you can't do.

To some up this experience, it is probably the sexiest thing that I have done and I don't say that often. I probably should, I've gotten much better with my confidence and self-esteem but I do still have my moments where I laugh at the prospect of being sexy, beautiful yes, pretty, yes, but sexy, eh maybe. But this, this is definitely the sexiest thing I have done. So hearing that it was hot as hell to watch, well that makes me feel pretty darn accomplished, their enjoyment is what I aim for, it's what any sub aims for. Getting that praise, that is cloud nine stuff right there.

I am at a month and a day now for my control, today will mark day one when I do my dailies. I did very good this last round as you cant tell. fluffs the blog No punishment blogs, now lets see if I can keep that up huh? And hopefully when next you hear from me it will be a month and a day from now.

^-^ Luna xo

When Control Takes A Dive....

So Sunday I wrote my lovely Day 1 post about not coming and doing good.....I didn't even make it a week. It makes me feel so disappointed, I was doing so good with my control and now, I can't help but feel ashamed, and disappointed even if I did technically enjoy myself. But it's not my call to make, it's Sir's and when I am told that I cannot cum, it means that I cannot cum. I am given an hour each day to work on my orgasm control, the means of which is mostly using my finger and a toy, while watching or looking at porn. There are times that I find that perfect picture (my net isn't fast enough for video) and I hardly even look anymore. Then there are times, like today, where my mind just veers from what I am looking at and I go a completely different route.

I can't even remember what I was looking at, I know that in the picture the woman was bound but that is about all I remember of it. I thought of being bound and that wasn't even what got me, it wasn't the thought of him driving in hard, it was the thought of him pulling out and covering my pussy with his cum. Then leaving me, coming back, taking me hard again, and covering my tits. By the time I was reaching the part where I was coming, he'd given me a facial, and was finally cumming inside of me. I tried so hard to stop myself, control my breathing, control myself as I have been working on but it was pointless. I chalk it up to thinking about something that gets me so revved, I have always liked the cum shots in porn, something about watching a man cum, I just love it. I have the added ability to have finally seen that with him, and I think, all that together just did it.

Of course that is by no means an excuse. I told him what I did, because there is no sense lying, sure I live states away 'how could he know', that has never been something that crossed my mind. I would know, and I would feel guilty for keeping that from him as well as for having done it so that isn't even an option for me. He came back with my punishment, which as always (this isn't my first time I've slipped up with this) makes me feel even more abashed because just in reading it, I can see the face that he is giving me. Tonight I was to clamp my nipples for 15 minutes, and then clamp my clit for seven. I take pictures (pictures below) as I do it, which go up on my tumblr and then tonight I was told to write this blog explaining why and how I felt.

Some might ask why the pictures being put up is part of it easy, I have never been one for posting that kind of stuff on the internet. Good on the women that can do it, I never have. It has just never really sat well with me. Knowing me well like most good Doms know their subs, he knows this, so that is part of it, a bit of humiliation to go with the pain. Mostly because the pain I enjoy, it's the posting it up that is always the part that has me cringing and making faces at my phone or computer screen as I do it. I know that I will get better with this, Sir has faith, I have faith in myself. Would I like it to happen over night to avoid this kind of stuff, oh Gods yes lol. But we can't have every thing can we?

Luna xo

Day One of Not Coming...

The second round of my orgasm control. The first time around I had a two slip ups, hoping that I can go this time around with none. We shall see how it goes, I have good hopes for it though, and of course Sir knows that I can do it. After all, I did finish up the last round pretty strong. Last night I got a one on one call with Sir, something that I greatly enjoyed....not just the being able to come part lmao,...but the fact that I got to play with him and talk with him. Being long distance in this kind of relationship it's important to keep up the communication. I have never thought I'd be able to do long distance in a BDSM relationship, I've done it with a vanilla one and even then it killed me, I hated it.

My biggest trepidation was that I would have to do things to myself, believe me there is no switch in me at all. I tried it once and I think the difference is that we have talked more, we didn't just jump right into this, and well....that one didn't last but a few days and then kind of freaked me out. Luckily I didn't have to change my number or anything drastic. But I find that this time when I am doing stuff like taking a belt to my breasts, I'm enjoying it, sure not as much as I would be if he were doing it (probably be done a lot harder too :P). Perhaps it is knowing that it pleases him that makes it easy and enjoyable. Matter of fact, I am certain that is what it is. I want to please him, I want to know that I am doing things exactly as he wishes. It makes me happy to know that I am.

Like the paddle I recently bought, definitely more for his pleasure than mine. Yes, it's a paddle, and I'm a pain slut so you are probably thinking 'Why on earth wouldn't you enjoy that?' That's an easy question to answer, it has the word "EROHW" (whore) written across it so that when he smacks me hard enough he leaves that word raised on my skin. While I have no issue with slut, there is something about whore that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Sure, I can listen to In This Moment's "Whore" which actually fits a character I created for a story, and on writing boards I can say that I am a "Plot/Charrie/Thread whore" but why can't I use that in it's true context? I don't know, when asked to debase myself with it, it becomes hard to say, hard to form the word and my mind screams not to say it, that I should lash out with words but in the end I say it. Well, I did yesterday and while I didn't enjoy saying it, I enjoyed the fact that it pleased Sir knowing that he is the only one I will ever say it for and the only one to have ever gotten me to say it.

So yesterday early I had randomly done a search just seeing if one was out there, found one on Amazon ... the last one in stock....naturally seeing that I had to buy it. So I told Sir that I got him a "Christmas Gift" because let's be honest, I can't use that on myself and I know that just the act of buying it probably pleases him as much as using it will. Today when I did my hour that I am supposed to do daily that is what I thought of while I fingered myself and used a toy. It was what when through my mind, well that and the image of him I had from yesterday. It had me so revved that by the time the hour was up I had made a mess, but proudly, did not come. I feel accomplished for this first day of round two and hopefully that I can continue to get my control under control.

Luna xo

Of Home and New Beginnings....

They say that with death comes new beginnings, the start of something new. I would like to think that that is true. That in the passing of something, something fresh and new blooms. A part of me thought that it would take me longer, that I would have to mourn for a while. After all we'd been together a little over a year, almost two in fact, and yet there is this budding feeling within me that is telling me that I am alright, that while I want to still be telling myself I'm not, I am. Perhaps it is being faced with that which I have been waiting a very long time for, perhaps having that glimmer, having that to look forward to it has helped me to be able to move on from that path, and on to my next. It's not that I did not shed tears, not that I did want it to happen, I didn't but I feel now that there is no way I could go back to it if I tried.

So here I am, writing another 'New Beginnings' post and a part of me is wondering how many more of these will I write? Will I always be living the new beginnings, or will something finally stick, will it finally stay? I'm hoping so. There is a lot I know that I have to work on, much that I need to get right with myself before I can fully give myself to anyone, most importantly a Dom. There is something in that relationship that to me, is more intimate than any other, they know you in such a way that sees straight to your soul, to your most intimate desires, things you'd probably never tell another lover for fear off judgment or what they would think of you if they knew you wanted such a thing. It's part of the reason I know more now than before, I shouldn't have vanilla relationships. It's like suppressing a part of me that wants to come out, a part of me that needs to be seen and heard. Only someone in the lifestyle can understand it, while a vanilla could try, or tell you they are willing to learn things, in the end it's not the same.

A Dom teaches you limits, takes you to the brink has you investigate that deeper part of you and helps you to grow. They have you explore aspects and parts of you that you might never have done before. Sure, being in a normal relationship can do that too, but for the most part they don't give you what comes with that, they don't give you the other things. So you try, your best to get it out in other ways, to serve them in the way you would any Dom, you take care of them, treat them like a King because for you that is what you need to do, that is what you have to do or you will fall apart. But there is no recognition of it in the way you need, it's not that you need them to recognize what you are doing, no you need nothing in return but their pleasure, but with a Dom it's different, there is a look they give, an approving look, one that says they are deeply pleased with you; it is that look that affirms, I have done my duty, and it that look that only a Dom can give you.

Before this I had always said I couldn't do it and it was just me saying it, it wasn't that I had a multitude of experience that led me to that, it was just me knowing deep down that that was how I felt, an instinct. Then I had the relationship with my previous ex, the one I gave a title to he did not deserve. I look back on these previous entries and ask myself how I could be so naive? How I could sit there and call him that when he didn't even deserve the title 'Dom'? It makes me shake my head reading that. Then I met a great guy years later and he was wonderful, and I honestly, wish I was vanilla enough for him. I wish with everything that I could be what he needs. Tonight he told me he was sorry for the split, that he realized now he lost someone really good, and I knew when he said it he wanted to know if we could get back together, the problem is, I can't be what he needs. There is no way I can continue to deny myself what it needs, and then factor in talking to someone who is quite possibly more Dom than just about any I have met save one person.

One of the first I did a scene with, and it was just that. He wasn't looking for a new sub, but he had agreed to the scene. It is an experience I will always carry with me and he is one I will never forget, but before now, he was the only one I'd ever met truly worthy of the title, and now I am faced with another who is, and one who wants to take me in as his sub...that I cannot deny. There is nothing that could make me deny that. So it is off to home I go, to work on me, to get me right, and possibly somewhere down the road (soon or otherwise) have what I have been needing for a long time. I believe in taking chances and not letting things slip away, it's why I moved to Louisiana, it's why I've done a lot of the things I have. As a witch I believe heavily in following my intuition, and it is never wrong, just as I listen to what my tarot cards have to tell me in their guidance, and one thing I know, is that the future is full a bright possibilities, and I look forward to taking them.

Luna Xo

The Vanilla Life

It has been a long time since I have wrote in here. Mainly because, it has been a really long time since I have been able to do play of any kind, or even the smallest scene. Going from living it to nothing .... it's hard. Really hard. I'm in a new relationship now, a vanilla one. It is definitely something that a big part of me feels....left out. Neglected almost. I've always been a sub. While it is something that I can do, and am doing gladly because, well, I love him. It's still hard to turn off those desires. To turn off those yearnings. A collar to a sub is like euphoria. Like a man slipping a ring on your finger and telling you that you are his. It's something that I've wanted for a long time. My friends dream of weddings, I'm dreaming of a collaring ceremony.

He knows that I am a sub. He knows that this is my only vanilla relationship, and in all of this, he actually is learning it for me. Learning the things that I would want, that would make me happy just as much as I do things that make him happy. For me, that is a big thing. I need that dominance. I need that structure. That for me is my way of feeling loved. I don't want the gentle love, I want firm love. I need the rules, I need everything that goes with it. Having someone understand that, and who is willing to learn that, it amazing. It's really, almost a blessing in a way. For me that is like feeling that things are lacking, feeling like something isn't there that needs to be there. So having it filled, it makes me even happier in the relationship.

Of course, because of this my writing has picked up more. Hopefully I can have something to post. For now, that is my only outlet for scenes. My only way to get that release because in those moments of writing it, I can feel as though I am right there. I am the sub in that scene. It makes it hard when I do my writing sites with friends. Sure, I can play a good Dom on an rpg board, but I gotta have my submissive characters because in the end, that is what I am. A lot has happened these last few years, lots of moving, lots of nothing as far as my BDSM life. But things are good, and I look forward to seeing where my new journey will take me.

I Wanna Do Bad Things To You (BDSM Erotica)

She'd been to the club many times. She knew the protocol. The moment she entered one of the girls smiled and led her to the changing room. The collar and chain leash were already laid out. That was it. Nothing more. Mistress had told her when she started what she would be wearing. It didn't fluxuate, nor did it change. The collar and leash were always the same, only thing that varied were the heels. Sometimes she'd be wearing a pair and sometimes, like tonight, she wouldn't be. She placed the collar on and made her way out the back door towards the private rooms. The room they used was always the same. Like the collar and leash, it never changed. She moved to the door knocked twice and opened it. "May this one enter Mistress?" She kept her feet shoulder width apart, chin up, eyes lowered with her hands behind her back. "Yes my dear, close the door." She nodded. "Yes Mistress."

After closing the door she turned, took up the same stance, and spoke again. "Where would Mistress have this one?" She waited with patience for her Mistress to tell her where to stand. She would stand there all night if it pleased her Mistress. That was her purpose after all, her goal, the only thing she wanted. To please her Mistress above all things. "Come sit my dear." Her Mistress said pointing to the spot beside her feet. She moved forward at the comand. "Yes Mistress." Once she reached her she sat upon her knees, bottom resting on her heels, and waited for her next command. Mistress stroked her hair telling her what a pretty girl she was. She couldn't help but smile. It pleased her to know that she pleased her Mistress so. There was nothing more a sub wanted than to please her Mistress. Nothing more at all. "Are you ready for what I have planned my dear?" She stayed perfectly still. "Oh yes Mistress." A hand was place under her chin lifting her head to lock eyes with her Mistress. "I want to do bad things with you my dear." Mistress said with a smile. She wanted Mistress to do bad things with her. "What ever you wish Mistress I shall give you gladly."

Mistress smiled stroking her cheek. "Such a good girl." Then taking her leash told her to stand and directed her to where she wanted her. From a hook placed in the cement floor was rope. Hanging from the ceiling was one of the suspention hooks. Before Miss did anythign with the rope, an ankle restraint bar was placed on her ankles to keep her legs apart and yet shackled so as not to have too much movement. Mistress got her elbows tightly bound together first, then she was stappado'd to a pully. Rope was then woven into the bun of her hair and attached to the pully keping her head back and then bound her neck and pulling it down to the floor by connecting it to the rope connected to the hook in the floor. Mistress talked to her the whole time. Asked her if she had been a good girl, if she had behaved. Mistress went to her selection of floggers and whips and returned with a bullwhip flogger. She anticipated what Mistress was going to do and when the first blow landed on her ass she cried out. Blow after blow followed until not only was her ass red, but hot from the lashing. The pain stung but felt so good as did the feeling of the ropes getting tighter as she moved.

The pully was raised before Mistress started on anything else. Just a few inches causeing it to tighten up, pulling her arms up higher. A whip was next, this time it was her back, and the backs of her thighs that were lashed. With each snap she cried out for more. Mistress asked if she was enjoying this. "Yes Mistress." Came her strangled answer. but it was too soft. A hard lash landed across the bottom of her ass. "Louder, I couldn't hear you my dear." She said her tone firm but never loosing that soothing touch to it. "Yes Mistress." She choked out louder this time. Mistress pet her head and raised the pully more. By the time they were done her feet barely managed to touch the ground. The rope at her neck that ran to the floor kept her in place causing the rest of her body to be stretched and pulled. Mistress placed a vibrator between her legs before taking up a paddle and smacking the front of her pussy a few times.

She couldn't help but cry out at the lovely mix of the pleasure and pain. It was almost too much. She'd long entered her subspace where she would do anything for her Mistress. That had been entered the moment the flogger was taken to her. Mistress came around to her front to take the paddle to each breast until it was red and then went back to assulting her pussy. The combination of both cause her to come quickly. Mistress moved forward placing a kiss to her cheek. "You were such a good girl for me my dear. Did you enjoy yourself?" She answered her Mistress in a slightly cracked voice. "Yes Mistress." Once she was removed she lay against her Mistress while she pet her hair. "Do you like me to do bad things with you?" She smiled against her Misrtess. "Yes Mistress."

Take Your Innocence (BDSM Erotica)

She was wearing nothing but a collar and a leash, having been directed to the room by a female she’d met there a few times. The BDSM club had many who worked specifically with prepping the subs for the Masters and Mistresses. There was a sort of anticipation as she waited for her, an anticipation that seemed to thrum through her. She sat on her knees, her bottom rested on her heels. Her hands were palm down flat on her thighs, back straight, chin up, but eyes lowered. She knew better than to meet her Mistress’s gaze unless she was told to. There was a patience in her as she waited for her. As a sub there was no impatience, she would wait forever for her Mistress. Finally there was a sharp click clack of her heels outside the door. The door opened to a mixture of her scent and floral perfume. It wafted through the room in that way it did when it was put on right. Put too much on and it just drowned people, put it on right and it would seem to almost follow you. To almost linger where you had been.

Her Mistress stopped before her. How did she know without looking up to see her? The toes of those lovely thigh high leather boots were facing her. She knew Mistress was watching her. Knew it surely before that soft raspy voice came to her. “You’ve been waiting patiently my dear?” It was poised as a question. “Yes, Mistress.” A smile graced her face, one the girl could hear on her silky voice. “Good, very good. You will be rewarded my dear.” She said moving forward. She stopped just before her girl. She was lovely with her long raven hair and light eyes. A lovely girl. A slender hand was placed just under her chin causing the girl’s light eyes to meet her dark ones. “Come my dear.” She said taking hold of the leash and leading her. A soft ‘Yes, Mistress’ came out past full lips as she moved forward on hands and knees. The room they had today had a large pillar in the middle of the room with a wooden platform before it. The platform was only about knee height, enough to keep the girl slightly off balance. It was going to be perfect for what they would be doing.

She was stopped just before the platform. She sat as she had before waiting for what Mistress would do next. A black silk blindfold was placed over her eyes. She didn’t protest what Mistress had done. She would do anything happily but for a few limitations they’d already talked about. Mistress helped her to the platform instructing her to sit on the edge and helping her get situated then she was leaned back. She waited. First a rope was placed around her neck, again she trusted her Mistress, trusted that she would keep her safe. There was no fear but for anticipation. Or maybe that was part of it, that adrenaline, not knowing what was to come. The sweet feeling of the rope around her neck almost cause her to purr. But she waited letting her Mistress mold her body to what she needed it to be. More ropes were added, first to tie off her wrists, than worked up her arms to tie her breasts. Her ankles were spread and tied off as well.

Mistress knew that asphyxiation and rope bondage was her girl’s favorite things. There were others she liked but she liked those as well. Though the quickest way to her subspace, rope bondage and whips and floggers. She loved them. Mistress was gone for only a bit, the girl’s senses being heightened having lost one sensory she was able to focus hard on her scent and the sound of her heels on the hard floor. She was and something was draped over her stomach. It was run back and forth over her soft skin. The feel of it was soft almost silky. She tried to think of what it could be as Mistress ran it over each of her breasts. Her breathing was coming quicker. The anticipation mixing with adrenaline, she’d slid down on the platform causing the rope to dig into her neck just so. That spiked more, the pain of it cause pleasure to be added to the mix.

Mistress brought whipped the flogger through the air and brought it down in a smooth flick of her wrist. The sound it cause from her girl was one that she couldn’t help but smile at. “Do you like this My Dear?” She asked bringing it down again being sure to alternate where she hit and sometimes even hitting one spot twice. The girl’s voice came breathless. “Yes, Mistress.” More blows came and not just to her stomache, to her thighs and her breasts as well. The flogger whip was alternated for a paddle. Each breast was hit with smooth sharp strokes. The pain of each strike caused her back to arch and the rope to dig into her neck with each arch of her back. She trusted her Mistress, knew that under her care nothing would happen to her. She was entering that state where none of that mattered. She would willingly do anything her Mistress asked. Subspace was something she enjoyed feeling. There was this almost euphoric feeling to it. While there was pain of each strike it felt almost heightened with the blindfold. It was something she had never felt before.

The next strike that came down felt different, riding crops had a certain feel to them. Almost like a real whip and yet, different. There was an almost after effect that it landed you with, a sting that didn’t quite give up. Each breast was hit the same amount of times alternating between the two. That euphoric feeling was building and building. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Between the cut of the ropes are her neck and the lashes from the riding crop she found it. Just as she was about to explode there was a combination of the riding crop and her Mistress’s finger finding her waiting center. Moments before she came the paddle was back this time quick strikes to her pussy. A finger for a little bit and then the paddle. The paddle continued as Mistress purred. “That’s right my dear, go ahead.” She had her permission. She didn’t need the physical touch of her Mistress’s finger. All she really needed was the sharp pain of the flogger and the cutting of the rope. But she had been a good girl. She saw stars as her orgasm exploded her and almost immediately after the rope was released from her neck to prevent her to pass out. A languid smile crossed her lips as her Mistress unbound her, helped her to stand and directed her to the pillows in the corner. She lay on her Mistress’s stomach while her Mistress ran her fingers through the girls hair. “Thank you Mistress.” Her Mistress smiled. “No, thank you My Dear sweet girl.”

For Your Entertainment (BDSM Erotica)

((Something different since I don't have much to write about as far as everyday stuff.))


“I’m going to hurt you real good baby.” He said with that dark wicked grin. That voice was just as dark as that grin promised and smooth as silk. There was a deep huskiness about it, a voice that could cause shivers to the spine. She dreamed about that voice, fantasized about that voice. But oh, not just the voice, that body was fantastical as well. There was something dark about Loki, something off, almost not right. But for all that there was magnetism about Loki, one that called a sub to him like a moth to a flame, and oh what a treat it was to be his sub if even just for a day. That commanding presence spoke to you, caressed you in such a way that submitting was pure pleasure. She didn’t know what it was about Loki that caused that but she didn’t want to say no to him, ever. Maybe he knew that, maybe that lovely reddish brown gaze could see right through her to her thoughts inside.

She bended to his will so easily, though there was a fight to her that he enjoyed. He always meant what he said but this time, oh this time was different. He meant what he said and more. He knew that she would see behind that look in his eyes, that look that said there was so much more that he wanted to give her. He knew what she liked, what brought her to that lovely subspace the quickest, rope bondage and being whipped or spanked. Tonight he planned for the whip. Loki had a talent for whips. He knew how to use them expertly. He could make you red without welts or give you welts, all without breaking the skin, only if called for would he ever break the skin. Tonight they had agreed to welts, she wanted the pain and he would give it to her. Make her beg, make her scream. From his back pocket he pulled the collar placing it around her neck. For tonight, while she was here, she was his. He held the leash in one hand and gripped all that lovely raven hair pulling her down to her knees.

She practically purred as his large hand fisted her hair. That wicked grin grew. He enjoyed how much she liked this. Just in that she was pleasing her Master, but then she always pleased her Master. Very rarely did he ever have to punish her. “I’m going to work you until you’re totally blown.” He said his voice a touch lower with arousal. That’s what she had come here for, what she had wanted. He led her to his dungeon, opened the door as she crawled in and sat on her knees, back straight, hands flat on her knees. He closed the door and moved towards her coming around to lift her chin. “Tonight I’m here for your entertainment.” He said in that deep silky voice. Her entertainment, he’d never said that before. Usually it was about pleasing him. He must have seen the look of surprise. “You have been good, you’ve earned this. Tonight, I please you.” That dark wicked grin was back. “And don’t think I won’t enjoy it kitten. Tonight will be a double edged sword of pleasure.” He leaned down so his face was close to hers. “I’ll see to it.”

She shivered. That voice, such pure silk and when he whispered; pure pleasure. It was like it darkened just a touch in the action. She could barely breathe in the pleasure of just that. He fisted her hair forcing her to stand. The pain form that action was felt straight through her scalp to her feet. The pleasure was felt immediately, she always loved pain. By both the leash and her hair she was directed to the far wall. Wrist shackles hung from the ceiling, she was placed into them. An ankle restraint bar was placed on her ankles, keeping her spread for him. Soon his hands weren’t on her. She had known only by his footsteps that he had walked away. They were heavy supporting that large frame. He was back soon. Her cheek was caressed with the handle of the black leather bullwhip. A dark black that was almost liquid, and like a true bullwhip, looked almost reptilian. “You’ll be screaming my name soon won’t you kitten.” She could almost hear the dark smile in his voice. “Yes Master.” A growling purr answered her before his voice was filling the room again. “Good girl”

He backed up and with an artful flick of his wrist snapped the whip against her ass. The sharp pain caused a highpitched ‘oh’ sound from her. It was almost akin to a moan and again he smiled. Another flick of the wrist and her other cheek was lashed. Her back arched and that sound came out again. He knew that she was was close. A few more lashes and her back and ass looked lovely. But he wasn’t done, he was just done with this. He removed her and directed her under the hanging chain with a hook at the end. He tied her up so her knees would be tucked slightly and hands behind her back. The ropes went around her neck and her breast as well. He suspended her with the loop in the middle that was connected to her back. He took up the whip again and snapped it at one of her breasts. Her head went back instantly and he knew now he had done it. Now he had her.

She was lost in the moment. The pain was sweet. She couldn’t think, couldn’t tell you if they were still in the dungeon or not. The ropes cut into her beautifully. The lashes of the whip were sharp and exploded her with pleasure with each lash. Her moans were turning to screams, she was a screamer during sex and though this wasn’t sex, for her it was close. To her there was nothing like this. Nothing physical could compare. There was something about this that was more intimate than even sex. Something that called to her and sang sweetly to her. Loki could see this and he responded to it in like. Each lash he gave her held a certain pleasure in it that only he could cause. She didn’t know how he did it but it was one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. A lash to her ass. “Tell me kitten, do you enjoy this.” She purred. “Yes Master.” He grinned. “Good girl. Tell me who you belong to?” Another purr. “Master Loki.” A deep rumbling sound almost like a growl. “Say that again.” She complied. “Master Loki.”

The whip stopped and those large footsteps disappeared only a moment to return. He kept her suspended but moved her into position. She knew instantly what was going to happen next. The flogger whip landed on her ass a moment before his engorged length found her sweet waiting opening. It usually wasn’t about sex for her and Master Loki, but tonight, he told her he would give her entertainment. He would do something just for her. As he pounded into her with hard penetrating thrusts he would snap the flogger on her, the leather snapping her skin almost lovingly. He filled her up completely stretching her pussy. The pleasure of him, the ropes, and the flogger was so much that she almost lost it but he hadn’t given her permission, hadn’t said the word. Then there it was in a whispered breath against her ear. “You’ve pleased Master, has Master pleased you?” She purred crying out. “Yes Master Loki.” One hard last thrust and he said the word. “Come for me.” She lost it seeing stars before her eyes. Crying out his name to the stars. When it was over he pulled out smacked her as and turned her so she could see his grin. “I told you tonight was for your entertainment.” Her skin was flushed beautifully. “Yes Master, you told me.”

From the Ashes, rise New Beginnings....

Can you guess what this is about? I'm sure you can. Much has changed since I wrote on the 8th in my ecstatic excitement. As you can guess, Amanda never came down. As a matter of fact things went a different direction. She'd disappeared on us. Turns out Master asked her a question that scared her, of course I didn't know this and it hurt me, real bad too. Felt like she'd broken my heart, no explanation, no apology, no nothing. Then they started talking again. Finally long story short, exMaster is moving to Alabama in the summer and I will be staying here in Louisiana. I can't fault them for falling in love. I can't fault the fact they seemed to click. Being poly I know that there is a chance for this, it is something that can happen. While you hope that it doesn't, sometimes life throws curve balls.

There is a small part of the old me, that I know will never leave. That feels as though she's stolen him from me. Am I bitter? No. Am I happy for them? Yes. I still love and care for both of them enough that I want them to be happy. I would rather keep them as friends than loose them completely. That is something I couldn't bare to think of. Something I don't want to think off. But with this has stirred many thoughts. Many questions, such as wondering if maybe that was why he never really 'collared' me officially among other things. I was owned, but not completely. At least it didn't feel complete to me. I had a Master who told me I was owned, but at the same time I felt incomplete. Felt less as a sub. Any sub knows that the moment that collar clicks around your neck you feel whole, complete. You finally feel as though you have purpose, that you have please Him/Her so that He/She would give you such a gift. You feel as though everything is right in the world and your life with them as their sub has finally begun officially. There is an almost, free feeling to that. A feeling I didn't get, a feeling I longed for.

I know though that there are other things. She didn't steal him, we would have ended even if she hadn't come around. SirBen is one of those who is, as you could say, 'In love with being in love'. He enjoys that feeling of new love and when it's gone, when the relationship settles from that, he gets bored. He looses interest. It's nothing his partner does, it's just him. While he thinks of me as a really good friend, he doesn't love me. That is not something I can force and to spare my own feelings, honestly, who would want to live like that? You can't make someone love you. You just can't. So we are all friends. Which I am happy with, again I would rather have them as friends than nothing at all. Besides, I found a good quote today - "We lose the people we love because they are meant to love someone else. We lose them because we are destined to find somebody else. It is a simple fact that is sometimes hard to accept because we are too stubborn to let go of something that doesn't belong to us anymore." That is so true, and at least for me, I'm not being stubborn.... for once. Shocker I know haha.

"I did all I could and I gave everything, but you had to go your way, and that road was not for me."

-Luna

It's a sub's life...

For all my doubts these last few days have proved that I shouldn't worry too much. I am a good sub and I serve my Master with great love and duty. I have been cleaning away and making sure that I have chores done, one of those is making sure that I have job applications done. I need to find me a new job. I just hope that I find one soon. For I while I had almost felt like maybe the fact that we didn't do anything meant that I hadn't been doing anything right. Now I have seen that that isn't correct. That it has been more that things are just getting in the way than it is having to do with me.

A few nights ago Master tied me up. Which works perfectly with my bed. We finally got it set up in the room and put his in the guest room. Mine has posts so it's much easier to do things like this. It felt... I don't know how to describe it. Perfect almost? I hadn't had that feeling in a long time and came to find that I have missed it. It's like something has been missing and then suddenly I feel it again and it's like that void has been filled. I would love for us to do more play but it just doesn't seem to work that way. Which don't get me wrong, is not bad but making room for it would be nice sometimes. We both just get so busy that it's hard to keep up with stuff like that. We have the house rules and things like that but as far as play goes, it would be nice to have a little more of that in our schedule than once every great while. I enjoy pleasing my Master is is something pleases me greatly. He is not just my Master, he is my friend, my lover.

I find that I am both nervous and excited for the new sub to get her!!! She is the perfect addition and I love her. Some people would probably never understand the way we live but that is fine. They don't have to like that we are poly they just have to accept it as who we are. Amanda is lovely. We all get along great and it's just one big love fest. I can't wait until we can move her in. We have to go to Alabama to get her and both Master and I are alive with excitement. We want to go snatch her now but of course we must wait. Sometime you just have to remind yourself that 'Patience is a virture', and then you want to punch the person who said that. Patience, pfft.

-Luna

Dipping my feet into something new....

My first blog I've ever done. We'll see how this goes. I'm quit uncertain about it but I'm sure it will go better than I think and seeing as there is quite the amount of bloggers in the lifestyle I might have company. That would be nice. Living here in Louisiana doesn't much account for being in touch with those within the lifestyle, yeah I could join NOBLE... if I wasn't so far from NOLA. *sighs* Hopefully someday I will be able to get out there and interact with others. As it is I've always been surrounded by vanillas, my family, most of my friends. The only friend I have who truly knows lives back home in Colorado. So it is the miles separate us, but we still chat. She's still there for me to open up about things like this.

Honestly I would love to get out there and do things among the community. But it's hard when Master is more the homebody type, unless it's fishing or hunting or something of that nature. It don't know if it's more my fears that that will make me. I know better. I am secure in who I am and why I choose this lifestyle, but don't we all find ourselves staring at our reflection thinking 'Am I following the right path?', 'Is this me?'. Of course my heart knows the truth, knows that I am in this with a full heart. But there is some part of me whether it be that overactive mind or some deep part of me that wonders what I will think if I actually go to a play party or a munch. Of course I have done play many times before, that is something that I shouldn't be worried about. But again, it crosses my mind.

I often find myself wondering if I am being a good sub. If I am serving Master with all that I have. While I know that I am I find myself noticing that I am lacking in some areas, that there are things I can do to better myself. I view this new year as a new start, a new growth. I will strive to be the best sub I can be. I will work hard to push those self angst thoughts back and think only on the good. Tell myself that I am worthy, I am worth it. Master shows me everyday and I should believe it because Master is always right. I not only want to be a better sub, but a better me, and I hope to accomplish just that. While I would love to write more Master has come home and it is time for dinner.

Til tomorrow-