It has been a few weeks now since my return for visiting Sir and Miss. Looking back on the days leading up to it there was a lot that I wasn't expecting or even really thinking about. I was just excited to finally going to see them. I had been talking to Sir, and to Miss as well though at that point not as much. Of course that has since changed. *chuckles* No getting ahead of the story. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. My desire to please of course fueling this, will I be everything I come off over skype, will I be what is wanted in person as much as I had been over text and skype? You know the regular worries and wonders that go through your mind. And then I was in the truck driving to the airport and I was excited, through all of it I had no bad feelings about anything. My intuition has always been something I listen to. I is usually spot on, I say usually because there are times I'll admit that I don't stop to listen to it. Always listen to you intuition.
Once at the airport the nerves were back, though this time because of my disliking/fear of planes. I don't really like flying but it's not so bad that I won't do it. Of course some of those Nerves were due to my usual when it comes to finally seeing people face to face. But that of course is the Social Anxiety, yes even if I get comfortable with someone through other means I'm still going to be nervous meeting them in person. It's how I have always been. Landing was rough, I'm going to chalk that up to the pilot because return trip we had turbulence but that landing was smooth. So I was a bit frayed from the flight, luckily it wasn't a crowded flight so I didn't have that on top of it. I had some time to compose myself since traffic was bad, so I got to sit a bit after getting my luggage and work out those nerves so that I wasn't a bundle of broken nerves when I met them.
Needless to say that meant that I wasn't paying much attention when they arrived. But it was a good greeting even, if I was all nervy and shy like. Honestly, minus the whole social anxiety thing I felt very comfortable with them. There was none of the 'not right' feelings at all. I had a very busy first day lol. We stopped at the mall after they picked me up, and luckily it wasn't very busy so that helped with my crowd issue. Then we went to get Sushi and I got to meet a friend of theirs, and Sir's mentor in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). I had a really good time, even if that was a lot for one day and not even half of what we did. But I know that I was glad to finally be there.
As with many things there are always unexpected things that crop up that you weren't expecting at all. A lot of times those things a good unexpected things, in this case it was most certainly a good thing. Miss and I clicked really well and it went from me being just Sir's second sub, to being both of theirs. It is something that I am really happy for the outcome of. I wouldn't have minded it either way, but I won't lie I prefer it this way. So of course once I got back home I made sure to be in contact with Miss more. Even if there are times I feel like I'm being annoying or bugging, shoot I feel that way with Sir too. But I always remind myself that it is not how they feel, it is just my anxiety making me feel that way. I often find that I have to tell myself things like that often. Sometimes the thing that makes me most awkward is the anxiety, wondering why I can be as normal as other people. It's certainly a work in progress.
On my last day there I got my collar, another thing that I was not expecting. I've waited a long time for it and thought that it would be a while before I would be getting it, even if things went so well I ended up staying another week. What made it even more special is that I got to make it, Miss taught me how to do the braiding. She set it up and then I got to do the braiding and she put the clasps onto it. When Sir put it on me, I don't even think there are words that compare to that feeling. I wish I could explain it well. It's like everything clicks into place it becomes so much more than it was moments ago. A feeling of completeness, oneness. I had hoped that I would be able to describe this better, always thought I would be able to, well of course I did I didn't really know what it was like.
Being home has been hard, while I know it won't be for long it is still hard being away from both of them. Not just them either, I do miss their daughter too. I had a lot of fun there and in a way came back different than I had been before, happier and in a way, more complete than I had been. Sleeping has been a bit tricky but I just remind myself that I won't have to endure it long. I cuddle my stuffies that I got while I was there and it helps. Every day I remember that soon I will be there, that being this far sucks but it will only suck for so long.
Luna XO
Once at the airport the nerves were back, though this time because of my disliking/fear of planes. I don't really like flying but it's not so bad that I won't do it. Of course some of those Nerves were due to my usual when it comes to finally seeing people face to face. But that of course is the Social Anxiety, yes even if I get comfortable with someone through other means I'm still going to be nervous meeting them in person. It's how I have always been. Landing was rough, I'm going to chalk that up to the pilot because return trip we had turbulence but that landing was smooth. So I was a bit frayed from the flight, luckily it wasn't a crowded flight so I didn't have that on top of it. I had some time to compose myself since traffic was bad, so I got to sit a bit after getting my luggage and work out those nerves so that I wasn't a bundle of broken nerves when I met them.
Needless to say that meant that I wasn't paying much attention when they arrived. But it was a good greeting even, if I was all nervy and shy like. Honestly, minus the whole social anxiety thing I felt very comfortable with them. There was none of the 'not right' feelings at all. I had a very busy first day lol. We stopped at the mall after they picked me up, and luckily it wasn't very busy so that helped with my crowd issue. Then we went to get Sushi and I got to meet a friend of theirs, and Sir's mentor in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). I had a really good time, even if that was a lot for one day and not even half of what we did. But I know that I was glad to finally be there.
As with many things there are always unexpected things that crop up that you weren't expecting at all. A lot of times those things a good unexpected things, in this case it was most certainly a good thing. Miss and I clicked really well and it went from me being just Sir's second sub, to being both of theirs. It is something that I am really happy for the outcome of. I wouldn't have minded it either way, but I won't lie I prefer it this way. So of course once I got back home I made sure to be in contact with Miss more. Even if there are times I feel like I'm being annoying or bugging, shoot I feel that way with Sir too. But I always remind myself that it is not how they feel, it is just my anxiety making me feel that way. I often find that I have to tell myself things like that often. Sometimes the thing that makes me most awkward is the anxiety, wondering why I can be as normal as other people. It's certainly a work in progress.
On my last day there I got my collar, another thing that I was not expecting. I've waited a long time for it and thought that it would be a while before I would be getting it, even if things went so well I ended up staying another week. What made it even more special is that I got to make it, Miss taught me how to do the braiding. She set it up and then I got to do the braiding and she put the clasps onto it. When Sir put it on me, I don't even think there are words that compare to that feeling. I wish I could explain it well. It's like everything clicks into place it becomes so much more than it was moments ago. A feeling of completeness, oneness. I had hoped that I would be able to describe this better, always thought I would be able to, well of course I did I didn't really know what it was like.
Being home has been hard, while I know it won't be for long it is still hard being away from both of them. Not just them either, I do miss their daughter too. I had a lot of fun there and in a way came back different than I had been before, happier and in a way, more complete than I had been. Sleeping has been a bit tricky but I just remind myself that I won't have to endure it long. I cuddle my stuffies that I got while I was there and it helps. Every day I remember that soon I will be there, that being this far sucks but it will only suck for so long.
Luna XO
